On gentle language

I really value using gentle language to increase connection. So often we hear achievements described as things that have been nailed or mastered, or challenges that have been destroyed or torn apart. Yet it’s just as easy to discuss these things with love and compassion, to share that we’ve felt good or felt a sense of achievement; that we enjoyed the learnings from a particular challenge and are grateful for the opportunity. What language do you use, and what do you hear or read from the people around you? Does this language emphasise the connection with others, with self, with the environment? Was the achievement or challenge something that was “othered”, ie something that had to be defeated, or was it a something you engaged with?

The use of the term “with” is a further way step in using gentle language. In the 32 Sounds movie by Sam Green, musician Annea Lockwood introduces listening with, rather than listening to. The interconnectedness of all things is much clearer when listening with the birds or the wind chime (as I am now), or even the train. There is no separation between us, and the wind chime is listening with me too. This reminds me of a Zen-inspired poem I wrote in my 20s, about rock climbers with their clinking equipment, high above the cows down in the valley with their clinking bells. It ended with my strong sense that the climbers were the cows - perhaps that day I was listening with.